If you step on people in this life, you're going to come back as a cockroach.
The jewel wasp uses a cockroach both as a nanny and a restaurant for its children. It first paralyzes the cockroach to prevent it escaping, then stings it at a specific point on its head: it's the only parasite that injects venom directly into its host's brain. This sting blocks the cockroach's alertness and desire to walk, turning it into a zombie; the much smaller wasp then chews off half of the roach's antenna and leads it like an obedient dog on a leash, to an underground lair that it prepared earlier.
At the lair, the wasp lays an egg on the roach, seals the exits, and leaves. As the larva hatches, it penetrates the skin of the disabled cockroach and eats its organs from the inside out – in the right order, so that the cockroach stays alive. This is because the meat has to be fresh - if the wasp just killed the cockroach it would rot quickly. The baby wasp grows up feeding on its host and emerges after about 50 days.
When 'zombified' cockroaches are injected with an antidote, they quickly recover their free will. There are 200 species of cockroach wasps, all of which act as parasites on cockroaches.
Cockroaches feel exactly the same way about us as we do about them. If a person touches them, they run away and hide, then wash themselves.
Cockroaches also have sensors on their bottoms to detect the direction of airflow, so they can get away from impending attacks. So vacuum cleaners cause them trouble. If you put a vacuum cleaner nozzle behind a cockroach, the wind goes from the cockroach's head to the nozzle, so it thinks something's approaching from the front and runs away – straight into the vacuum cleaner.
Both the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most.
Baby cockroaches are called nymphs. They are soft and white but turn hard and brown on contact with air.
In 2008, the President of Turkmenistan sacked 30 employees at a news station after a cockroach was seen to walk across the set during a bulletin.
Cockroaches predate dinosaurs by at least 100 million years.